Matthew 16 says, “What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?” Life is often difficult and overwhelming. Before we know what has happened, we have become consumed by our circumstances. Have you ever heard about the frog in the water? Take a pot of hot water and throw the frog into the pot. What do you think will happen? The obvious, of course: the frog will jump out. Take a pot of cold water, put the frog in it, and place the pot on the stove. Turn on the heat. This time something different will occur. The frog, because of the incremental change in temperature, will not notice that it is slowly being boiled. Have you seen that happening to you lately? I realized recently that was exactly what was happening to me!! Slow increments of increasing stressors and before I knew it; I had gotten out of the zone with my walk with God. I was spending so much time putting out fires, or worrying about fires, that I had lost my peace.
Maybe you have major changes going on and with that change come serious challenges and choices. It is so easy to get caught up in the immediate and lose our soul-fullness. We allow numbness to slip in without even recognizing it is happening. The good news is that none of these things are wasted in the life of a servant of God. One thing I am convinced of: We need the presence of God in the middle of our daily life. If not, we will be diluted and weakened in our service to our King. We need to renew our commitment to pursuing and experiencing God.
Where are you? How is it with your soul? Maybe you haven’t been able to quite put you’re your finger on it, but you know something is missing. Where is your passion? Has your walk become mechanical? Has life become just another day?” Maybe you are in a season when all is well, but there will come times when if we aren’t careful to guard our hearts and souls, we can be weakened to the point of just living by rote.
God wants to take us deeper into the transformation process with every day, week, month and year that we are on this earth. Spiritual transformation is that process where Christ is formed in us for the glory of God, for the abundance of our own lives and for the sake of others. A crucible is defined as a container for melting something or a place or set of circumstances where people or things are subjected to forces that test them and often make them change. Are you in a crucible? Like it or not, the fire is being turned up on God’s people…and He has allowed it for our good and His purposes.
I have been in a crucible and as a result, I have decided to embrace it, not run away from it. I challenge you to join me and surrender to the sovereignty of our Almighty God, trusting that no matter what happens in our lives, it was first sifted through His hands and He is ultimately in control! One of our staff recently made a great point. We were talking about having God in a box. She said, “He isn’t in the box, we are!” She was so right! He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. He knows all things and even more importantly, His love is everlasting. He wants to stretch us into more growth even in the midst of our difficult circumstance; to transform us to a deeper dimension in our relationship with Him. He loves us. I want to join him in a new level of transformation. He is not in the box, I am…and I am jumping out to join Him. Will you?

“The LORD your God is with you,
       he is mighty to save.
       He will take great delight in you,
       he will quiet you with his love,
       he will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

As I meditate on this Word, I am brought to tears by the picture of your heart for me. I am reminded of how much I enjoy watching my own children. I love it when we are all together playing, laughing and singing old songs. As I sit in the midst of them, watching them with all their antics, my heart swells with a deep sense of joy and pleasure just being with them. I want to grab them up and press them into my very heart. As I meditate on this scripture in Zephaniah, I realize that YOU feel the same way about me. Oh my Father, I am humbled to tears at the picture of you loving me far more deeply than my limited human capacity…that you even rejoice over me singing! You are my best friend. You are always there for me, even when I am unaware. Lord, you are faithful to me even as I have been unfaithful to you.

Oh God… there is a longing inside me to know you more…and to experience your love in a greater way even tonight. I hunger for more. There is no greater goal than to know you Lord. How do I know you more? Your Word even says in Job 36:26,”Behold, God is great and we do not know Him…”  Nothing that I have done in life has any value except to know YOU….teach me, Lord….Your servant is listening…

 Oh, Lord God…Be my holy obsession…my burning desire…it is You I long for. How amazing to realize your heart is with me, constantly interceding to our Father on my behalf. How comforting it is to know that you are always there for me. I am humbled by the idea of you dancing and singing over me….that you even take joy in my life. You know all the days of my life….let me cling to your mercy and never take for granted your grace….Let my heart always maintain a song of worship to you the Holy One on high…all the days of my life. Let your fire consume the bondages of my life…Lord, the biggest bondage in my life is the bondage of self….Set me free. Let my life be a sweet fragrance to you, both day and night…let me walk with you during the days and visit me in  my dreams at night.  Keep my eyes on your beauty, Lord, and not on the circumstances I see around me each day.  Oh Lord, the joy of knowing you…there is such a deep hunger in me for more….I sometimes feel like I am on the brink of something so much bigger….and I want to jump into the river and ride the swift current that takes me deeper into you …I don’t want to just splash in the shallows…I want to dive in the deep waters of your spirit….and there I am confident, I will find your love is more like an ocean…more than my human brain can fathom and more than my heart can contain. You are great God and I cannot understand it…Let flesh…that old bondage of self….drown in the depth of your love and mercy….Lord, let praises rise up in my soul…let that same mercy and love spill out when I am with others…Let the meditation of my heart and the song of love on my lips bring glory to you, my Jesus. Use me…allow me to be a polished arrow in your quiver…prepared at all times to be a precise instrument in our hands. I love you…my Father, my Brother, and my best Friend.

Do we really know what we ask when we say, “Search my heart, Lord….reveal any wicked way about me?” As I meditate on this it just seems to get deeper and deeper. I am becoming more and more aware of how much I need God’s grace. Without His grace as my covering, I would surely be vaporized in the consuming fire of His presence because my heart is so deceitful. Coming into His Holy presence causes me to know how much I need Him. My heart is overwhelmed….

 Lord, I cry out as David did…search my heart…know every wicked thing about me….Reveal to me whatever might be there that blocks your holy presence from residing in me. Let the motives of my heart be pure. I seek holiness and I know that pureness of heart is a key. It is with a little trepidation that I even pray this prayer…and yet, I know it is vital. I am often blind to my own sin and denial is my worst enemy. Having spent a life time justifying, minimizing and denying reality, Lord, it is hard to really know my own heart. Holy Spirit, expose my foes…expose the enemies of my soul that lie deep inside me…I am my own worst enemy many times and I don’t even realize it. I have been conditioned by this world and I am weary of it. I want to walk in the freedom and the holiness you have promised me. I want to be pure and holy before you. I want my heart to be your resting place…I want to walk with you in the secret place and rest in the shadow of your wings.  

“Then know my heart as it is demonstrated through my Son…and I will cover you with my grace…Let your heart be like His heart…and grace will be there for you…I will make myself known to you and you will touch the lives of others with that same love.”  

Oh, I love you, Lord, with all I know how today and I am sure it falls short. Even Jeremiah said the heart is desperately wicked and sick. How I wrestle with this! You are so much more and you have loved me so much more…in spite of my ignorance.  How can I know you more? How can I grow in your holiness?  

“…feed my sheep…” 

I hear you Lord. How would you have me feed your sheep? Show me your ways. What do you mean when you tell me to feed your sheep? I have thought I was feeding them daily…is there more? Are there things you want to feed them that I am not aware? Are there others you want me to feed that I am not aware of yet? What do I feed them?  Help me to understand. 

“Feed them out of the riches of our relationship…these times when we are together…I will show you new and great things that are not just meant for your ears, to strengthen just your heart…give them away…listen carefully and look diligently for those that I would send to you…they will be easy to overlook. But remember, I love them with an everlasting love. I died for them, too. They are my lost sheep…My little lost children. Last night in your class, it was XXXX.   Feed my sheep.”  

Lord, show me your truth…about my own wicked and sick heart and show me the truth about you…teach me to walk as your Son walked and help me to know your grace. Let me run with you in the meadows of your everlasting love. Nurture me in the rich soil of your Word and let my roots grow deeper and deeper….always seeking you as the source that quenches the thirst in my soul…. Let your love, you mercy and grace clothe me. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear….and let your love spill over to feed your sheep…to your little lost children. I love you, Lord. Be glorified in my life today.   

Have you ever just felt tired of ministry? Do you ever question whether your time is up? I am sorry to say I have. I am not proud of this, but it is the truth. Sometimes I question if I am even supposed to be doing what I do. I question if I am the right person for the job and if maybe there is someone else that God wants to use to accomplish His purposes. I admit it…I sometimes grow weary in the battle and I have to draw aside and just talk to the Lord about it. Thank goodness He doesn’t disown me! I quit a long time ago trying to be super human and super spiritual about this. I read where David, a man after God’s own heart, struggled in many of the ways I struggle as a ministry leader. Well, recently in my weariness, I found myself whining to God…. I asked Him to please speak to me and here is what I heard as I read my devotionals and the Word…God is so faithful even when I am not!

“You are not your own….you belong to Me. I divide your private life and make it a highway for the world and for myself. You cannot bear this unless you identify yourself with Me. You are not sanctified for yourself. I will use you and the circumstances of your life to accomplish my will. Thank me in the times of weariness…I am with you…sustaining you. But you must continually spend that time with me so that you can truly identify with me. Do you believe? Then lay it down….Your life is not your own.”

Thank you for giving your heart to me this morning, Lord. Your concern for my struggles is humbling…that you would care so deeply for me and the weariness I have been experiencing with the ministry work. Forgive me for complaining. This morning, I am reassured of the fact that you paid an awesome price for me and I am not my own.  Please give me the eyes to see and understand when the situation is presented for me to obey. Thank you for hearing my prayers, for comforting me in times of pain, for giving me wisdom and discernment in times of uncertainty. Thank you for courage and for sustaining me in times when the ministry becomes heavy. I realize just as you have said this morning that my life is not my own…let me be faithful and let me do the work you have called me to with a grateful and rejoicing heart. In Jesus’ name.

Hey, God is ALWAYS faithful….even when I am whining…He meets me right there! You know, I believe He knows….and when I yoke myself to Him, He will carry me in times of weariness. After all, He has carried the weight of the WHOLE world before! As I take a deep breath even in this moment, I feel the release of His spirit to go skipping into another week of serving Him…and I rejoice that He LETS ME DO IT! God is GOOD! Thank you, Lord, for being the lifter of my head! I know the pleasure of your smile this morning…Be glorified in this day….

Okay, so I am going to give this blog thing a try.  I just returned from a great trip to the mountains as you can see from my header. Yes, I took that picture at the top of Mt. Mitchell, the highest point east of the Mississippi! It was absolutely beautiful and to think that heaven is even more awesome is incredible.

I have had one of those rare afternoons where my phone did not ring, I had nowhere to go and I was completely alone! Well, with the exception of Prissy, my sweet, fat cat! I enjoyed the solitude and took the time to revisit a topic from my recovery work that is very dear to my heart. I have been studying about my eternal position in Christ. You know, I have come to realize that if we don’t every fully embrace the truth about this, we will never live well. I don’t know about you, but I want to come to the end of my life and hear the Lord say, “Well done….” I fully believe that in order to hear that I need to know WHOSE I am and therefore I will know WHO I am. He has given me everything I need to live well…to accompish his purposes in my life. But, I have to cooperate with Him and surrender my will. Sounds easy, but we all know it isn’t!

Oh Lord, I pray that I bring you joy and cause you to smile as I pursue you…Your smile is the only one that matters in the big scheme of things. I want to know you more deeply as each day passes. I want to experience your presence so that my life will be so full of you and that the love you give me flows over into the lives of those you put in my path from day to day. I have nothing to give unless you fill me…speak to me, equip me, fulfill your purposes in my life, I pray.

I believe this is a critical time for us as God’s chosen vessels to rise up and seek Him with all our hearts in prayer, in praise, in living a lifestyle of worship, in soaking up His word and incorporating His truths into our lifestyle so that we can walk in His calling.  The world is full of darkenss…just look at the evening news. We are called to be carriers of His Light. When we pursue Him with all our hearts….He mobilizes us for God’s kingdom!

God is looking for you and me to totally surrender our life to Jesus Christ as “Lord”…not just as “Savior”.   I believe as we do this daily, we will experience genuine revival. We will know the joy of our salvation. But even more…the result is the light of Jesus will shine through us and pierce the darkness! The world is looking for people who possess what they profess. I believe that when we set ourselves to seek the Lord and His face, we likely will experience genuine revival.

A long time ago, I read the following and wrote it down. I don’t remember who said it, but it rings true in my ears even now.

“The world is looking for some reason to believe what we believe. (All it takes to see the evidence of this is to look at this generation of young people. They have been disillusioned by Christianity…)They are looking for reality in religion that translates into an overcoming lifestyle. They are looking for someone rich in faith, pure in heart and visibly focused on God.” Isn’t that what we all want??

Well, enough of my rantings…I will close with another statement I read or heard somewhere… ” A genuine spiritual revival will help us to put on Christ…the HOPE of glory…our complacent spiritual “nakedness” will no longer be exposed to a world that has lost faith in the credibility and integrity of modern day ‘Christianity’ as God’s spiritual light.” I just want to know Him…to love Him…to be like Him…to make Him smile…to be His friend even as He is my friend…Awww…the joy of my salvation!